Disgusting.
The food here is as vile as ever.
They could at least serve some meat.
And jambon persillé, sautéed perch, fricasseed free-range chicken,
and, of course, pear compote for dessert.
You never stop complaining, do you?
I thought you'd sworn off eating food from this world.
Grumble
Regardless, this is just awful.
I miss Baphomet's exquisite cooking.
Grumble
Then go back to Hell.
Grumble
And never come back.
I wouldn't mind some good food every now and then either...
Grumble
Oh yeah, tomorrow's the culture festival!
That's right...
Culture festival?
"Notice of the Culture Festival.
The annual culture festival will be held on campus again this year.
All are free to set up booths to sell food, drinks, sundries, and the like."
So, what exactly does a culture festival entail?
Hey!
Morning, all.
Good morning!
Did everyone receive their brooches for the festival?
Oh, yes.
Head Boy, will you be doing anything there?
Yes. Come and have a look if you'd like.
Bye.
Oh, yes...
Participating in the festival counts as part of your grade.
Do your best with that in mind.
All right! A chance to turn my grades around!
Are your grades even in a position where an event like this can turn them around?
Don't say that...
Of course! I can use this to boost my grades and raise money for my tuition!
A chance to kill two birds with one stone!
William, you're giving off that black aura again...
Hey, maybe there are some booths already up and running!
Let's go see!
What is all this?
The culture festival.
If you set up a booth, you can keep whatever money you earn.
And if the student customers like it,
they can give you their brooches.
Whoever has the most brooches at the end of the day wins.
Eager
I see, that sounds pretty fun!
Oh...
The food looks good!
This is the one day we're free to eat whatever we want!
What're you gonna do, William?
Nothing.
By which I mean I won't subject myself to any menial labor.
I'm an intellectual, after all!
Oh, I see.
So what specifically are you going to do?
Has no idea
What kind of booth is that?
When did he do all this?
Sytry's pretty cute.
His fan club has over 200 members.
This is an all-boys school...
Step right up!
For a limited time, buy ten photos
and receive a coupon good for one handshake!
Or buy the fifty-photo set and get your photo taken with Sytry himself!
I'll take fifty!
I'll take a hundred!
Of course!
Everyone line up!
Gilles, what do you think you're...
No, even worse, Sytry...
He's made some fine bait out of you.
Don't be shy. Come close.
P-Pardon me...
Okay, here we go!
Shall I do your hair, makeup, and costume as well, Your Excellency?
I need no help from the likes of you!
Don't try to stop me, William!
Oh, right, I need to get my own booth ready. See you later!
That does it!
I, the Eminent Grand Duke Dantalion, must take action!
That does nothing!
Please finish up your work in Hell before you run off to play!
The paperwork sitting on your desk is up to the ceiling!
You vermin...
I am your master!
Just watch! I'll open a shop that'll be far hotter than Sytry's!
I'll take on all comers!
Dantalion, Dantalion!
I'm surrounded by morons.
Dantalion, Dantalion!
Step right up!
Ceylon, Indian, Chinese, Japanese!
I've got the finest herbal teas from all over the world!
This one will turn up your sex appeal!
Guaranteed fast-acting!
I'll take one of those!
Do you have one that boosts brain power?
One fat-burner!
Brother, word has it this booth has the best tea.
Oh? If they have any from Egypt, I'd like to try some.
O-Oh no...
I've gotta do something, too!
Okay, everyone, please form a line.
The problem is, what on earth can I do?
Sytry's fleecing his fan club with his flair for cross-dressing.
Dantalion's cornered the meathead demographic.
Even Isaac's raking it in with his tea,
and he's in the lower fifth year!
It's meaningless to try to best them by doing the same thing.
I know!
Okay, line up and proceed in order.
H-Hey, Sytry.
Th-This is a lovely booth you have here.
Here to get yourself a fifty-photo set and a commemorative picture with yours truly?
Not in a million years.
Actually, that aside,
it looks like Dantalion's booth is also doing quite well.
All the jocks are swarming the place.
He may have even had about as many customers as you.
My beauty could never be outdone by the likes of him!
Oh, of course.
I totally agree.
I don't think he can beat you.
Still...
Still...?
Still, you need a clincher!
A clincher? What do you mean?
Sytry...
You need me!
Only I can bring forth your true glory!
You have unlimited, untapped potential.
You can do far better than a puny booth like this.
I can help you use your strengths to their fullest extent.
Now, do you want to widen the gap between you and Dantalion?
Gotcha.
To the Olympics! Go for the gold!
Dantalion, got a minute?
Sure...
What is it, William?
Looks like your booth is doing well.
Yes, everyone's completely enamored with my machismo!
Fool.
I must admit, you've changed my opinion of you a little.
Your strength, your physique...
And more than anything, Dantalion, your sharp wit.
Every now and then, I catch myself admiring you.
Honestly, I'm not sure why I hadn't noticed your charisma until today.
William...
I have a request, Dantalion.
Lend me that power.
No, that charisma.
Gotcha. One more down.
Hey, Isaac!
How's business?
I'm getting lots of customers.
Look, I'm making a fortune!
And check out all these brooches!
He got all those?!
But he's Isaac!
Well, I have a proposition for you.
Give me all the tea in your store.
Seriously, shut up and transfer all your tea-related skills to me.
Wh-What?
I don't expect it for free, of course.
From tomorrow until the next test, after school,
for a full six hours, three times a week,
your prefect and head of the class, Professor William,
will tutor you in such a way that even a monkey could understand.
I guarantee you will graduate to the next grade!
What do you say? That's a fantastic deal.
I-I'm a bit scared, but I do want to advance...
Gotcha. One more down...
Again.
Excuse me, one aphrodisiac tea, please!
Thank you very much!
I'd like mandrake longevity tea.
Coming up.
I'll use any pawn I can, even demons!
Behold, I'm rolling in dough and I didn't lift a finger!
I've a superior grasp of economics,
and I'm so versed in the human psyche, I can manipulate demons.
I'll be Prime Minister before I know it!
William!
What? Get back to work.
This isn't what we discussed at all!
Yeah!
What are you talking about?
We're only making all this profit because I'm using you two to your maximum potential.
I only proposed that you work with me.
You two are the ones who agreed.
Why must a noble demon like me work alongside this oaf of a Nephilim?
Now you've done it.
It's all true, isn't it?
Boy, the future interim Emperor of Hell sure is a hard worker!
Master Sytry, may I place my order?
Yes!
Excuse me, Dantalion, I'm ready to order, too.
I'm on it!
I feel like I've seen those two before...
William, come here a sec!
Welcome to the—
Um, we'd like...
...herbal teas as well.
C-Coming right up.
Well done neglecting your duties in Hell...
...to work as a butler up here, Your Excellency.
W-William ordered me to...
Dantalion, one protein tea, please!
Make mine a double!
Dantalion, Dantalion!
A butler cosplay tea house.
Dantalion, Dantalion!
Mister Dantalion.
Tee-hee.
J-Just a moment, please.
Two herbal teas for those two.
Excuse me?! I've got my hands full here! Serve them yourself!
Do you realize who you're talking to?!
Shut up and get to work!
This looks good.
Oh, you've got a good eye, sir!
That one's got all the fat in just the right places.
I'll take all the ones you've got hanging there.
And that and those.
Yes, sir!
Hold it!
I'll take all that meat you have.
Leonard.
Well, well.
If it isn't the lowly Nephilim's dirty mountain goat butler.
Let me explain.
This nice guy here is actually me,
your old friend, the black goat Baphomet.
And this arrogant jerk, making his first appearance,
is Viscount Sytry's ram butler, Leonard.
It's been some time, Leonard.
You're dressed even more oddly than usual.
I've been in China until just the other day, expanding my culinary prowess!
Meanwhile, you only ever cook the same old things.
I'm on a much higher level now, much higher.
I see. Well, I'll be going.
Hold it right there!
What now?
Now that I've finally found you again,
let's settle once and for all who's the better chef!
Oh?
I thought you'd never ask.
So, are you buying anything or not?
Elector!
Shut up!
I will sue you both for obstruction of business!
Master William, given your status as the Elector,
we would love to have you judge our contest.
I'm afraid I'm too busy.
Also, who are you people?
Baphomet, it's you!
Huh? You know him?
He's blocking the entrance! Tell him to leave right—
Wait, did you say Baphomet?
As in the goat?
Yes.
Your Excellency, it's one of those things, you see.
Yes, I understand.
William.
Baphomet and Leonard are going to have a cooking competition,
and they want you to judge.
What? And why should I bother?
Because it'll be a chance to eat some of Baphomet's cooking.
My Leonard is a top-class chef, as well.
Master Sytry!
Very well.
I'll make an exception and help you out.
The rules: each chef has one hour to make as many dishes as they like.
Whoever scores the most points will be crowned Cooking King of Hell!
Very well.
Let's do it!
Ladies and gentlemen, the time is finally at hand.
Today's battle will decide once and for all who is worthy...
to claim the title of top chef!
Let's begin!
In the red corner, the ebony handyman, the black goat Baphomet!
In the blue corner, a funky guy just returning from China,
the ram butler Leonard!
And here are your judges!
I've been wanting some food that actually tastes good.
Wow, food from Hell! I can't wait!
No one in this school can resist the allure of delicious cuisine.
Which means all eyes will be on this contest!
The top spot is as good as mine!
Excellent grades and extra money!
he he he
I amaze myself.
Chefs, ready...
Begin!
Behold my ultimate move,
the Multiple Flambé Frenzy!
Look at Leonard!
It's clear that he's trained hard in preparation for this battle!
Just look at those woks fly!
Let's check in on Baphomet!
Cooking isn't about performance.
Baphomet's not slacking in the slightest!
He moves too fast for the eye to follow!
And in a brilliant ironic twist, the main dish is lamb stew!
Time's up!
And now the moment we've all been waiting for, the taste test!
Gilly's going to have a bite, too.
Flavors as subtle and delicate as a spider's web,
woven together in a perfect tapestry!
A hundred-years' war of flavor!
It's so good!
This goes beyond what you'd call "food."
What can I call it?
It's... an everlasting flavor bonanza!
Is there some kind of law in Hell
that mandates these reactions when you eat food from there?
What exactly do you think Hell is?
It's...
It's so...
I didn't know food this good could exist...
No, even in Hell, it's not easy to come by a meal of this caliber...
What can I say?
I think you know, William.
Yes.
Yum!
And now, the judges must pick a winner.
Today, once and for all, the true top chef will be crowned!
But who will it be?
Judges, your verdicts!
Amazing!
Master Sytry!
In a stunning upset, he has awarded 10 points
to Dantalion's butler Baphomet, and none to his own butler Leonard!
By a final score of 50 to 40, the true king of cuisine is...
Baphomet!
It was the sweets...
Leonard...
Why?!
Why must you always demand them?
Bake me cookies, bake me a cake,
cream cheese angel cake, absinthe pear jelly,
huge custard puddings, chocolate fondant...
I went all the way to China to learn to cook Chinese food!
How could you choose him over me?!
Leonard... why?
Why'd you go to China?
You should've trained in France.
I won't forget this!
What's the meaning of this?!
Gourmet food...
from around the world?
We'll need you to pay the bills for that show.
New order's up, and step on it.
Why have I been reduced to this?
Now that we're clear, get to work.
This is how an intellectual competes.
Unbelievable...
It's time to announce the results from our culture festival!
I took over Dantalion's, Sytry's, and Isaac's businesses,
and even capitalized on the two butlers' cooking.
First place is mine.
First place goes to...
Nathan Caxton!
The Head Boy really was incredible!
It really was on a different level.
Really? It was that great?
What? You didn't even go?
You missed out!
British culture is quite complex.
Indeed. I didn't expect him to go so far...
What in the world did he do?!
I guess I got a bit too into this.
All right...
Time to get serious.
The wonderful thing about Shakespeare
is how vividly he describes the ugliness, viciousness,
and foolishness of humans.
How pitiful that he had to be a human himself.
Welcome home, my master.
Please, this way.